Just because I said I’d rather die at home, doesn’t give you the right to assume that I don’t want acute medical care.

We prefer to die at home but that is not a YES or NO question, one always has conditions attached. We still expect Acute Care Hospitals to be there if we are sick.

What do I mean when I say that I wish to die at home ?

l mean that ideally, I would prefer to live a good long life, never get sick, and die peacefully at home in my sleep.

It does not mean that I would wish to die at home if I am no longer able to care for myself. Why would anyone wish to burden their family with 24 hour care? 

Why would anyone wish to thrust their children into financial difficulty by being forced to give up their employment or their business and become 24 hour carers.

Palliative Care academics say they have done surveys. I must confess that I did the survey and ticked the box to say I’d rather die at home. This was because of the way the question was loaded.  It said , “If you could be sure that good care would be available.”

In an ideal fairytale world, good care might be available at home. Maybe a 24 hour nurse and a doctor on call when needed and a hospital close by. That would be good.

However my health service said good care is a one off assessment by a trainee doctor, then referral to palliative care nurses who call the domiciliary nurses for you. It is the  domiciliary carers from an organisation such as Blue Care who actually carry out the work. There is nothing new about having the Blue Nurses call, they were available in my grandmother’s day, only then they were all actual qualified nurses. You will also get an occasional visit from palliative care nurses who talk to you about your symptoms.

You might expect that a Registered nurse would turn up to give pain injections but my family member was told that in this event it would be myself who would be trained to give subcutaneous injections. I thought it strange that they said this to my family member without first having the manners to ask me if I was capable and or willing. I thought they might like to know if I was anxious or haemophobic. But I would save them money so everything would be done by me. Carers are so good at saving health services money.

Palliative Care nurses also say they give support to family members and in some services I believe they are very good but in other services support for family members and carers seems to exist only in theory.

Yesterday I saw a cartoon depicting a frustrated overworked emergency doctor screaming, “why has that patient been placed in resuss when he had said he wants to die at home”?

I ask why would a doctor assume a patient wants to die right now, today just because they said they wished to be able to die at home ? Why would a doctor assume a person doesn’t want further treatment or to be resuscitated just because they hope one day to die at home. If a person presents at the hospital, a doctor should assume they want to be there and that they expect acute care unless otherwise clearly stated. These people are sick people and should get the same respect and the same communication as other patients get.

In their busy rushed environment, emergency staff may quickly judge a 60 year old to be passed their used by date. They may be totally unaware of their own ageism. They may have never taken the time to notice how many older people really enjoy and value their lives.

Palliative Care academics think a five minute tick box online survey is a good way to evaluate peoples wishes. I believe any educated person should realise that such evidence is really worthless except as a tool to help get people out of acute hospitals as quickly as possible so that they are encouraged not to ask for further treatment but be convinced to  die as cheaply as possible.

Yes I want to die at home provided I am not sick.





Photo by andreas160578 via Pixabay



  1. I’m guessing based on your spelling of certain words that you reside in the UK or Australia? I work in hospice and literally none of your grievances would have occurred in the United States provided to care provider followed protocol.

    Liked by 1 person


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